Theresa May Becomes UK Prime Minister And Makes Us All Realize We Don’t Understand How England’s Political System Works

New Conservative Party leader Theresa Ma

On Monday, the UK’s Energy Minister Andrea Leadsom pulled out of the race to become the UK’s next Prime Minister after insinuating that Theresa May wouldn’t be a good Prime Minister because she doesn’t have kids. I guess she felt bad about the low blow.

The position was up for grabs after current PM David Cameron announced that he would step down following the country’s decision to throw deuces to the EU. This left Theresa May as the only other candidate in the running for Cameron’s sloppy seconds. Why so sloppy? The UK has been a mess following Brexit. The only good news they have gotten was Andy Murray winning the Men’s Singles at Wimbledon on Sunday. Even that’s a little bittersweet considering he’s Scottish and his country didn’t vote in favor of leaving the EU and may try to split from the UK again as a result.

All this is rather historic because Theresa May will become the first female PM since Margaret Thatcher, who was the first woman Prime Minister in UK history and the longest serving PM in the 20th century. A lot to live up to for Theresa May, especially when she won the job virtually uncontested in less than a month.

What was so special about Monday? When it became clear that Theresa May would be the next PM, David Cameron announced that he would hand over all responsibility on Wednesday, when he had originally said he would resign in October. So this guy can’t get away from the position fast enough. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s spotted playing golf at St. Andrews on Thursday morning, considering he would’ve voted with the Scots to stay in the EU. Watch this video of the announcement and see how unemotional the guy is because he is obviously happy to be off the hook of cleaning up the UK’s coming shit-storm.

“She’s more than able to provide the leadership that our country is going to need in the years ahead”. AKA “I’m getting the fuck out of here so she can clean up the peaces of a broken nation”.

After his announcement, we heard from the Theresa May herself. Watch this video. I can’t get over those mindless drones in the background giving the saddest cheer after everything she says. So British it hurts. I know most of them are highly educated, and are suffering from the migraine that comes with the post-Brexit hangover, but I feel like Americans would be showing at least a little bit of hype. You wouldn’t try to prove me wrong if I told you that George Washington yelled “fuck yeah!” as he slapped Martha’s ass when he found out that we won the Revolutionary War.

And Cameron immediately saying he’s out in two days? I respect the move. Talk up the next Prime Minister to make it seem like she is the best person for the job, then get out while you can and preserve the legacy. Let’s not forget that both of them didn’t want to leave the EU, so realistically she isn’t any better suited to negotiate the break-up.

I’m left with a few questions: How is this allowed? And how were there only two people running (if you can call it a real race) for Prime Minister of the country with the 5th biggest economy in the world? And the people didn’t even vote? I guess I don’t know anything about UK politics, but after a quick Google search I found that the PM is the leader of the party that controls Parliament, so when Cameron stepped down, May became de facto leader. That still doesn’t explain why Andrea Leadsom was even in contention, but I’ll leave that Google search to you. Finally, if she steps down as Home Secretary (whatever that is – apparently British for Secretary of State), who takes her place with two days’ notice? And who takes that person’s place? I bought stock in Barclay’s after Brexit, thinking the price would rebound. As much as I’m rooting for that, I’m a little uneasy after yesterday’s events to say the least.

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